The Tween and Teen Years: A Parent’s Guide to Support and Independence

The tween and teen years are a time of great change – for both parents and children. It can be difficult to know what to expect during these stages, but with the right information, you can smoothly navigate your way through them. In this article, we will discuss what adolescence is like, the tween and teen stages, raising adolescents, supporting independence and the adolescent brain. We hope that this information will help you as you journey through the wonderful – and sometimes challenging – world of tween and teenage years!

What is Adolescence?

Adolescence is the transitional stage of physical and psychological development that generally occurs between the ages of 12 and 18. This time period can be divided into three phases: early adolescence (ages 12-14), middle adolescence (ages 15-16), and late adolescence (ages 17-18). During these years, children experience rapid physical growth, sexual maturation, and cognitive development. They also begin to establish their own independent identities and develop relationships outside of their families.

What is The Tween Years?

The tween years are typically considered to be the ages between nine and 12. At this age, children are beginning to assert their independence from their parents and are exploring their own interests and identities. They may also start to experiment with risky behaviors, such as smoking or drinking. It is important for parents to be supportive during this time and to provide guidance - without being too overbearing.

What is The Teen Years?

The teen years are typically considered to be the ages between 13 and 19. During this time, teenagers experience a lot of physical, cognitive, and emotional changes. They may start to rebel against their parents or authority figures and engage in risky behaviors. It is important for parents to provide support and guidance during this time, without being too overbearing, just as is suggested for the teen years, it's just that at this time, it can a little more challenging!

Raising Adolescents

Raising adolescents can be both rewarding and challenging. During this time, it is important to provide support and guidance, while also allowing your child to develop their own independence. The top three tips I have for raising adolescents are:

Encourage open communication

Try to create an environment where your child feels comfortable communicating with you about their thoughts and feelings. This will help them feel supported and may prevent them from engaging in risky behaviors.

Set limits and be consistent

It is important to set limits with your adolescent and to be consistent with them. This will help them feel safe and secure, while also teaching them how to make responsible decisions.

Be supportive

Try to be understanding and supportive of your adolescent during this time. They are going through a lot of changes and may need extra support.

So, What is it Like to Be a Teenager?

Well, puberty brings about lots of changes, both physically and emotionally. It's a time of exploration and discovery, as well as a time when many teenagers start to question who they are and what they want in life. This can be a confusing and frustrating time for both teenagers and their parents. On the one hand, teenagers are seeking independence and wanting to do things on their own. But on the other hand, they still need support and guidance from adults. Raising adolescents can be challenging, but it can also be rewarding. As a parent, you can help your teenager navigate this time in their life by providing support and encouragement. Ways you can do that include:

Be there for them

Let them know that you're always available to talk, no matter what it is they want to talk about.

Encourage them to express their feelings

It's important for teenagers to have a outlet for their emotions. Journaling is a great way young people can do this privately, take a look at this printable journal option: Self-Care Journal.

Help them make decisions

Many teenagers feel overwhelmed by the choices they have to make. You can help them by offering advice and guidance, but ultimately, it's up to them to decide what they want to do. These printable worksheets are really supportive tools for young people as they focus on decision making: Values and Visions Workbook and My Big Book of Goals Workbook.

Support their independence

As much as they need your support, they also need to learn how to stand on their own two feet.

The Adolescent Brain

It's no secret that teenagers can be a bit.. Difficult. Their moodiness, hormones, and general lack of experience often result in some pretty tumultuous years. And while it might seem like they're just being rebellious for the sake of it, there's actually a lot going on inside their brains that can explain their behavior. Having a greater understanding of how the teenage brain works and it’s development can help us understand our young people and their behaviours.

So what's going on inside the teenage brain? For starters, the prefrontal cortex - which is responsible for things like impulse control and decision making - isn't fully developed yet. This means that teenagers are more likely to make impulsive decisions without thinking about the consequences.

Additionally, the emotional center of the brain is more active in teenagers than it is in adults. This can lead to things like out-of-control emotions and mood swings. And on top of all that, teenagers are also going through a lot of physical changes. Their bodies are growing and changing, which can result in some pretty intense emotions and feelings. Here are two printables that explain the adolescent brain in a really simple format: My Brain and How it Works and The Impact of Anger on The Brain.

All of this combined can make for some pretty challenging years. But it's important to remember that teenagers are still learning and growing. With time, their brains will develop further and they'll start to become more capable of making thoughtful, reasoned decisions. In the meantime, though, it's important to cut them some slack - they're going through a lot and it can be easy for us to forget how big their world is and how much it matters to them, particularly when they often don't share it with us!

Parenting adolescents can be tough, but it's also an incredibly rewarding experience. By providing support and encouragement, you can help your teenager navigate this time in their life. What are some of the challenges you've faced while parenting a teenager? Let me know in the comments below - I would love to hear from you! And if you found this blog helpful, then please share it with your friends and family. Lastly, please remember - if you have any questions or are looking for a particular resource then please reach out, I am here to help. 😊

Ps. Here is the link to all of my resources to support independence and the teen years: Independence & Teens.

Rosie 🌹

Independence & Teen Resources Available