Exploring Anger in Kids and Teens: What You Need To Know

Every young person has experienced anger once or more in their lifetime. Maybe a friend said something hurtful, their parents disciplined them, or the teacher handed out an extensive homework assignment. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way. Still, many don't realise that anger by itself is not unhealthy. Instead, the intensity of the emotion distinguishes what is healthy and unhealthy.

What Does Healthy and Unhealthy Anger Look Like in Young People?

Anger has a bad reputation, in part, because it's often associated with violence. However, anger is a healthy emotion that can fuel a person into action, help them address their problems, and teach them how to resolve issues. For example, healthy anger in young people might motivate them to perform better in sports or to problem-solve an argument with a friend. Healthy anger can also help one determine if something is a real threat and respond appropriately.

Unhealthy anger presents outwardly; therefore, people will direct their anger towards someone else or blame the other person. Due to this outward shift, they become less aware of their inner emotions and perceive situations as a more significant threat. They may become outraged over a minor incident or quickly erupt from 0 to 100. Therefore, it is critical to discover where this anger manifests.

What's Below the Surface of Anger?

Anger is often a sign that kids are struggling with or frustrated about things beyond their control. And though it may appear as a primary emotion. On the contrary, it is a secondary emotion below the surface. Typically, the underlying emotions are stress, fear, sadness, anxiety, hopelessness, etc.

Older wounds can cause even more powerful emotions. Therefore, it is crucial to get to the root cause of anger in young people to manage it more effectively.

How to Manage Anger

Keeping one's anger in check can be challenging. However, strong emotions can negatively impact a person's health and relationships. Therefore, learning how to cope better with anger is essential. Many strategies focus on finding healthy, productive ways to manage anger, so let's look at a few.

1. Think before speaking.

Before possibly saying something hurtful to someone that causes regret later, collecting one's thoughts can be helpful. It could make a more considerable difference if the other person is willing to do the same. If not, there is nothing wrong with taking a time-out to gather one's thoughts.

2. Express concerns.

After one has cleared their mind, expressing concerns or frustration with the other person in an assertive yet non-confrontational way is essential to decrease the chance of arguing. However, not everyone is always willing to listen. Therefore, personal journaling is another form of expression to release inner emotions of anger.

3. Don't suppress emotions.

An impending volcanic eruption occurs when a person suppresses emotions or holds on to a grudge. Therefore, it is best not to wait until one's feelings reach a boiling point. The sooner one addresses the situation, the better it will be for everyone involved.

4. Seek help.

Working on anger can be challenging, so it might be wise to seek the help of others or a professional. Learning practical coping skills from another perspective can make all the difference.

Anger Doesn't Have to Control Younger Peoples' Lives

Experiencing feelings of anger is human nature and, therefore, doesn't mean an individual is wrong or that they're not a good person. It's about changing unhealthy anger into a more healthy and manageable emotion.

Although these transitions will take time, determination, and persistence, they are doable and will benefit a person's well-being and relationships in the long run.

Take a look at the many therapeutic resources I have developed to further support young people in exploring their anger and emotions in a healthy way, here; Anger Resources.

I’ve linked just a few of the many resources I have available at Make Life Rosie, so please explore further and get in touch with me via email at hello@makeliferosie.me if there is something in particular you are looking for. Please feel free to share your thoughts on this blog in the comments below!

Rosie 🌹

Anger Management Resources For Kids and Teens